reason not to

You probably shouldn’t give them a reason not to.

I was basking in my first act of defiance. For as long as I can remember, my dad was pro-clipped nails and pro-short hair. Around him, I could never successfully keep long nails (which he called “claws” 😄), or grow my hair beyond a month. Anytime I thought I was finally growing either, out came the razor or clippers 🤦🏽‍♂️.

You could imagine my surprise finding a picture of him from the 70s. Like a lot of our parents, he was in an afro 😲. My dad didn’t have a leg to stand on. Fortunately, at the time, I was 18, and in his books, practically an adult.

That’s me about a year after the great discovery, with my ‘fro and little goatee, beaming from ear to ear. Sometime after this photo was taken, I was offered the opportunity to leave Benin Republic and continue my education in Canada. However, I had to attend an interview, first.

“You probably shouldn’t give them a reason not to”.
That was my dad’s advice to me the day before my student visa interview at the Deputy High Commission of Canada. I knew what he meant, and he wasn’t wrong. The ‘fro had to go 😭. At least, it was my decision, sort of.

To be honest, I looked smarter in my fresh haircut and clean shaven face. Though, I ended up looking a lot younger than 19, and I was told so 😑. By God’s grace, I was able to answer all questions intelligibly, and looked responsible doing so. The rest is history.

“Never judge a book by its cover” is a nice sentiment, but in the real world, you are constantly assessed, addressed, and related with based on how you’re perceived; and how you’re dressed plays a big role. How you present yourself matters. That’s just the way it is.

The onus is on you to always put your best foot forward.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Don’t give anyone a reason not to.